I just got back from a weekend in Flo-horror-da. Thank goodness for shade and air conditioning. I noticed everyone was tan as leather, and slaves of the weather. So in reminiscentia to being so close to the edge of purgatory, and being kissed by a cruel, smoochy sun — I give you this article I found on the history of tanning.
Be sure to shake some salt and pepper on your skin after you oil up. No sense in being bland just because you’re boring ;)