Thursday, July 31, 2008

Vampires rights out of left field

My sister LilyBat is definitely going to be watching this show (whatever it is). Looks like HBO is starting an ad campaign for a show about vampires living in modern society. Sounds a lot like the situation in the Charlaine Harris novels that goody two-shoes Abby Cadaver reads.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wrinkles in time

You might be young now, but watch out for the sun. It will age you in time. It’s great if you start using some kind of sunblock early. You want to look young for as long as you can — especially if you are immortal like me. 90% of wrinkles are caused by ultra-violet exposure from the sun. The other 10% of wrinkles are caused by lazy people who sit in the dryer too long before folding.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Gender contender

I can see by my new pole, that the information therein will be very helpful. I’ve always known that boys are stinky losers, and I’m pleased to see so far only girls and women are reading my blog. Men wouldn’t understand it anyway.
Feel free to slap this graphic on your page to make boys stay away!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

What color accent POLL RESULTS

What color do you accent black with?

35% • Purple
22% • Red
14% • Pink
10% • What accent? (just black!)
8% • Blue
4% • Green
4% • Something else

I like these stats!

Avoid the squeeze and pop

Remember, people! Acne brand pimples should never be pinched, picked or squeezed. Feel free to pinch, pick or squeeze your butt, but please keep your hands away from those pimples! They are like weeds in your garden with alien roots.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Long in the tooth, short in the bus

Everyone knows this. Wearing your Bluetooth phone device on your head while not in use is like wearing a big fat earing that says, “I’m a pretentious goofball.” The Bluetooth headset, however much it set you back is not the status symbol you want it to be. It shows that your status is stupid.
At least you won’t get brain cancer. The wireless waves bouncing around inside your skull will echo forever before they find any gray matter.