Edible monsters

As a monster myself, I have no problem eating other monsters. Isn’t that what we do? That’s really what you want. You need to define me as a monster… Aw, who am I kidding? I was going to go off and rant on your judgment of me, but my mood is pink and chipper because of this item Betty Bones sent to me.

MONSTER CEREALS BLOG! If I could wear this as a dress, I would. So cool!


While I'm at it, they have The Church of Monster Themed Breakfast Cereals Facebook group now too. Join up if you go there.

Now I have to go off and binge.

These pants are riding up

In the 80’s it was wrestling shoes, the 90’s it was men’s sports jerseys. Is this the sport-to-fashion trend for this decade? While the decade is far from new it takes years for it to develop a style. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about English riding pants as fashionable pant-wear. Even if you rock your own personal style, there are very few people who can pull this off. And if that’s true, what will you do when you have to pee?

I have to admit I do like the tapered ankle with the buttons.
But, PLEASE don’t let this evolve in riding chaps for fashion!

Welcome your demonic overlord

Parents need to control their children in public places. I thought I was a demon. These little creatures are misbehaving all up in my face all over the place.
Note to parents: Control your children or I will control them for you… and my mastery of your child will include reigning with reins.

The Duke got Spirit, yes they do

The Duke Spirit

I like to listen to WFUV online, and sometimes a song pops out at me like an alien from the dark. That’s all well, and good, and I can keep that to myself; but when talented groups like The Duke Spirit come along, and they are offering free music, I have to tell the world!
Go to their site, sign up for their mailing list, and they send you a link to download a superb song from a radio session called Wooden Heart. It’s softer than the song I heard on the radio, but shows they are not one dimensional.
Enjoy it! Now leave me alone. I’m ordering the CD!

Swedish spider

I don’t like spiders and snakes… just kidding. I love’em!

Check out this link to a Flash 3D spider. A Swedish developer named Tomas designed it. He has my heart.
Drag the spider around, feed him bugs, make him jump! I love it!

Devil Doll on Deadbeat

Devil Doll on the cover of Deadbeat Magazine

One of my MySpace friends is a Los Angeles based Rockabilly band called Devil Doll headed by the Devil Doll herself. They rock my socks! Check out their music, and get their CD at CD Baby.
Devil Doll appears on the cover of the new issue of Deadbeat Magazine.

And, visit me at Myspace too, dangit!

I’m gonna smoke ‘Cracked’

Cracked magazine, and their humorous lists are at it again, but this time they’ve insulted me and my monster heritage. Here, they’ve gone and listed “6 Bizarre Real World Versions of Fictional Monsters.” What nerve. There are fictional people too. And some people who are so fake, I want to squeeze the stuffing out of them.
Well at least demons are last on the list, so I guess Ian Fortey considers them to be most real.
Witches aren’t monsters, so I’m not even counting that one. Sure the fictional ones are a bit scary, but when you find a real one who actually looks like that, I’ll buy you lunch.

Tipi of the day

This is the ultimate clash in tastes and style. Somehow they pull it off, and I'm actually tempted to buy a Barbie® Doll. Gosh, that Registered symbol makes it look like “Barbier” instead of “Barbie.” I suppose it is Barbier. After all, that would be considered better, and this particular Barbie® Doll modeled after Tipi Hedren in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds is far better than any blonde bombshell Barbie I’ve ever seen.
Every dress should be acompanied by ravenous birds that want to kill you.
For due credit, I found it at Boing Boing.
But here’s the collector site.

Smarmy Clothes

Less mood, more mode. I have been inspired! I found this site: SmarmyClothes.com, and you HAVE to check it out. These are the punkiest, and most colorful hand-made clothes I've ever seen. I recommend you check it out, and buy something from them. Dress with a little gumption.
See them at Myspace too.

Check out this cool hand-bleached, hand-sewn dress. Not just a great idea. It was executed with the precision of a good mortician. Drop dead gorgeous.

Give them an inch, then twist

Sheesh. Give somebody an inch, huh? I have yet to see any company not take advantage of your need for their service. You name it, they’ll take you for all you’ve got. No need for specifics here.
It’s time we let them know we will go elsewhere (when we aren’t forced by monopolies).
Give them and inch, they’ll take a mile. So from now on, give them an inch, and twist it so it hurts.

Return of the living girl monsters

Is it safe? Halloween is over, right?

I wish people would not associate me with that horrid holiday. Have humans forgotten the meaning of Halloween? I’m a demon girl. Your human Halloween is the day to scare off evil spirits and demons. Well, I’m scared. Of your costume parties where you dress as a sexy nurse or Batman. Who the heck are you warding off? Sequels and harlots, I suppose.

Prepay = Delay

New lessons are learned every day. Each one makes me more cynical. Lesson #7,734: Don’t prepay for anything. You think you’re doing the right thing, but in reality if it’s goods, they will arrive when they feel like; and if it’s services it will turn into the worst service possible.
Money is like the carrot on a stick. Don’t give money to the donkey ass
or he’ll forget why he got it in the first place.

Chiller Theater Returns!!!

I haven’t posted in a while; but, hey, I get all kinds of busy before Halloween.

Heads up if you are in the NY area, or get WPIX Channel 11, they are bringing back Chiller Theater! Remember that six fingered hand that emerged from a puddle of blood to eat the letters in “CHILLER?” Then it would sink back down with that eerie “Chiller,” voice. Well, I don’t, you old coot. I’m still young and pretty.

Here’s a link to the Channel 11 WPIX announcement:
http://www.wpix.com/wpix_chiller_theatre

Also, here’s a link to the original Chiller opening:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ux3laLkueZk

We all know all YouTube links don’t necessarily last, so here’s a search for more:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chiller&search_type=&aq=f

It’s not the heat

It’s great to finally feel some of this humidity go away. I mean the ignorance that I have to deal with on a daily basis leaves me flabbergasted. Wait… what? Oh, did I say humidity? It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity.

Someone couture than me

I don’t know much how to dress. I just look for dresses with holes in the back so my wings are more comfortable. And I’m not much of a fashionista. You’ll find me happy (or the demon equivalent) with a plain black or purple outfit. A little pink is nice too.

If I was going to consult with a designer, Cassandra would be the one. Her Goth Girl Fashions are beautiful romantic reflections of her talent. The detail that goes into her work is phenomenal! And the influences are far more than simple Gothic style. She weaves in her own mix of Asian and Victorian along with the ever-effective and beautiful human skull.

Click for Cassandra’s work.

Take the bitter with the tweet

I can’t stress enough the importance of sleep. Getting enough Zs make you beautiful. Skipping on sleep is just going to make you cranky — ugly on the inside and on the outside.
When I sleep I like to wake up without an alarm so I wake up naturally. If only those stupid birds outside would stop squawking. They call that music?

Lovely leather we’re having

I did a search online to find out how to clean leather so that I wouldn’t have to get my jacket cleaned professionally. Let me just warn you, it’s worth getting it done professionally.
The advice I found was to mix 1 part vinegar with 2 parts linseed oil. Rub that mixture on the leather and let it sit over night before rubbing it off with a dry lint-free cloth. Well I never got around to the second part.
Think about it. Vinegar and oil? Sounds like a salad. Smells like a marinade. It was delicious.

Two-face jokers

Two-face friends. Everyone knows one. They talk smack about you behind your back, and smile pretty full of compliments when you’re together. There’s enough drama in life (and undead life) that we don’t need to artificially add to this. Let’s make a pact. Human or monster. If you’ve got a two-face joker for a friend just flip a coin. Heads you drop them like a hot potato, and tails you stick their face in potato salad.

So long, and angst for all the fish

If you are a moody, angst-ridden teenager, take heart, and tell your parents to get off your back. You mind is developing, and your mood swings and emo feelings are part of that process. Own it. Then as soon as you can, get over it, you big, fat baby.

Vampires rights out of left field

My sister LilyBat is definitely going to be watching this show (whatever it is). Looks like HBO is starting an ad campaign for a show about vampires living in modern society. Sounds a lot like the situation in the Charlaine Harris novels that goody two-shoes Abby Cadaver reads.

americanvampireleague.com

Wrinkles in time

You might be young now, but watch out for the sun. It will age you in time. It’s great if you start using some kind of sunblock early. You want to look young for as long as you can — especially if you are immortal like me. 90% of wrinkles are caused by ultra-violet exposure from the sun. The other 10% of wrinkles are caused by lazy people who sit in the dryer too long before folding.

Gender contender

I can see by my new pole, that the information therein will be very helpful. I’ve always known that boys are stinky losers, and I’m pleased to see so far only girls and women are reading my blog. Men wouldn’t understand it anyway.
Feel free to slap this graphic on your page to make boys stay away!

What color accent POLL RESULTS

What color do you accent black with?

35% • Purple
22% • Red
14% • Pink
10% • What accent? (just black!)
8% • Blue
4% • Green
4% • Something else

I like these stats!

Avoid the squeeze and pop

Remember, people! Acne brand pimples should never be pinched, picked or squeezed. Feel free to pinch, pick or squeeze your butt, but please keep your hands away from those pimples! They are like weeds in your garden with alien roots.

Long in the tooth, short in the bus

Everyone knows this. Wearing your Bluetooth phone device on your head while not in use is like wearing a big fat earing that says, “I’m a pretentious goofball.” The Bluetooth headset, however much it set you back is not the status symbol you want it to be. It shows that your status is stupid.
At least you won’t get brain cancer. The wireless waves bouncing around inside your skull will echo forever before they find any gray matter.