Wrinkles in time

You might be young now, but watch out for the sun. It will age you in time. It’s great if you start using some kind of sunblock early. You want to look young for as long as you can — especially if you are immortal like me. 90% of wrinkles are caused by ultra-violet exposure from the sun. The other 10% of wrinkles are caused by lazy people who sit in the dryer too long before folding.

Complexion convection

I just got back from a weekend in Flo-horror-da. Thank goodness for shade and air conditioning. I noticed everyone was tan as leather, and slaves of the weather. So in reminiscentia to being so close to the edge of purgatory, and being kissed by a cruel, smoochy sun — I give you this article I found on the history of tanning.
Be sure to shake some salt and pepper on your skin after you oil up. No sense in being bland just because you’re boring ;)